Sunday 21 June 2009

"They Make Lady Chatterly and Lolita Look Like Lambs!'

That blurb (with a characteristic mis-spelling of 'Chatterley') comes from a book called 5 Wild Dames! This book came to my attention when I was complaining about the way some "authors" lend their names to other writers' work. The most recent egregious example is the book allegedly co-written by Pan's Labyrinth director Guillermo del Toro, The Strain, which was actually entirely written by one Chuck Hogan, working from a 12-page "treatment" of del Toro's. I couldn't help feeling that there is no less inspiring a name, literarily speaking, than 'Chuck Hogan'.

That was until Big Bob Tralins was brought to my attention.

The author photo on the back is truly grand in its awfulness. The readers of these books might have been operating on the moral and mental level of masturbating chimpanzees, but I don't think that having the writer pose as one was the best idea.

Tralins had a whole sewer of books to his credit.

Amongst these titles, Jazzman in Nudetown has an almost inspired anti-genius to it.

For close analysis of a relatively restrained Tralins cover, The Chic Chick Spy, you must go here.


Rex Parker said...

I thought the name sounded familiar:

The Chic Chick Spy


JRSM said...

But... but... I already included that link at the end of the post! Yours was my first exposure to this fellow.

Anonymous said...

Beautifully trashy!

Rex Parker said...

Sorry, I was so overcome with Tralinsmania that I failed to read completely. My bad.


Ian Koviak said...

you may or may not know this site:

JRSM said...

Wow--there's some great stuff there. Thanks, Ian. Plenty of hours to be lost going through the archives, i suspect.

Ben said...

Given the complete anonymity under which most of these porno-type paperbacks were published, it's interesting that somebody seems to have been trying to set 'Big Bob Tralins' up as a celebrity author of sorts….

That said, publishing his mugshot on the back was clearly a terrible idea, as he does not look like a man anyone would be liable to trust to lead them to “the Action with a capital A”. In fact, he looks pretty much like my mental image of the kind of person who presumably used to read these books (assuming anyone other than 14 year old boys read them). I’m surprised his hunched pose and gleefully demented expression didn’t instantly put off the whole target audience, as they dropped the book with a shock of self-recognition and loathing.

But then I saw “Jazzman in Nudetown”, and all was forgiven as my brain just sort of fell in on itself.

I wonder if his books are actually any good? – I mean, in a funny/goofy/self-aware Lionel Fanthrope sort of way. With such an inspired title & cover, it would be disappointing if it were just the usual, unreadable rubbish.

JRSM said...

It must be the worst author photo in history. But you're right about 'Jazzman in Nudetown': what a title, with an actually talented artist behind the, admittedly, tacky cover. Very strange.

I think Rex Parker needs to give us the low-down on the quality of the books.