At the risk of turning this sporadically updated blog into nothing but a repository for the worst bowel movements of the public domain-scraping automated ebook industry, let's imagine the alternative history of literature suggested by the covers of the classics published by "HMDS Printing...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWJesLq_yeLGqeVz7qav50_SA36B6S6J_Ne606mzGElufb7_GRG2JWIQWoxkxFAr-nVRv3oNVK2YwS5RSXryWlfKvICIT7LS1KrcIvD74uwLw4uDsYE7y3N12PalVPY64hnshNvzbUcLU/s400/B013V9R19O.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
Alcott's classic tale of cloned urban feminist Leninists |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxn8HI4Po04NBZH4-liQQWrRUnl1q-K8q7gZkPbM-WaM8DVfI6PdCdfjZ1iAEEvK6Mun3xyyZ8zz8ehV82xuh0bOGOi7lYHs6J9r2Sxol7Mpze_xthEbxaeWxSkzHEum0EWNxJqhmNV8g/s400/B016IPQBC6.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
To be fair, you can almost see Fanny. |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigpCNTv9c13BSVX6RXowePbHuOrKBXW7Fo9e4-EKgA0RVdT3BJ_xZKxSQYwT-Ig7kLXvIEvlVyfFilheq2kEEsm-DxRh0W44U0XJRiJWedfWKsFeyLISoV-DtHdjWIb_d6Af_uKW-8lPM/s400/B013Z27Y0S.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
The beloved novella of American Civil War Primal Scream training |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3A8webyM4FRKzd27u6DOz2kSJQVnFZJPnNg5YWFhrGY8ZG7E7f9hOylms_CRSB8Mff-0lZ1lmp9iApWD5ots7rHRCrNCY45c2I1dS_0bGrifFiCx4uiWakYexlvAi7Z1byETXXt-gJvo/s400/B014G1BP7U.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
A portrait entitled 'Man in a Hat that Makes Him look Retarded' |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJg5Y18NMaVYjgI0Ddb8L3PQ9SzK0NVr3xSEa3kQOP2VH2CkSFSOQzlxnMmQfLqKoJwwECLbiTNx-Fv4EBgPuKdqPFVLdrH405ezznq_aO20EpEkKWsW9-y-IM0GmaIkbTliruebp8tRU/s400/B014TPZNGW.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
Prince Lyov Nikolaevich Myshkin vomited on his shirt and then sucked a lemon to take away the aftertaste. 'Who's an idiot now?" he asked, smugly. |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfysLgpuzjM4dx13fXUEtE769FKYvh2bmXpkoj_uzyDqCyLH6oyFEpfEcufJGFjY0UL-yuUuhA4Rr2P7ZkBSymGwvJi5FsdkrfejDFJ5VIupu0ZMm_MmR6C5sECLslUJ8tApTNQJjq8Qk/s400/B014VA5OAU.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
No, Vietnam is on the other side of paradise. |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKbWHVCj8x2VggVFJ2hwal_fiqsjgTSEeBZJf56r03O-5NT_rIteFTJQ5nHqn9dmjFaoLWZpNL7LEkbniGRgSE22v3FnniXJyAO1_-SA005ZjhYAyeQTfzz79kCK25Ed9Dy9NSKpUndDc/s400/B015AG70NI.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
No trainer wheels? That IS adventurous!
|
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgemqsKK_SOsJDjjMAAlkmqxjguo3MROhQh_jzsU2HaN5NUqOsOaCVpbvho5KWlif_E8ijT6-RZNYtKCxwRbjz7WZX8XSHCeaZHtp9nErQVU4pZcZZ5wUZctmgAqMDdJo4xel7-I-5G8jI/s400/B015QEKO1Y.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
Australia, Japan, it's all the same, who gives a fuck? |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPmxghGazqLZco_4G6wKCLvqaefHFBu8f2yIpJvJ88CxN_VJKTR8GuyupsllvXLRSrW3CV6IS7wZak3h1OzzMOrEJ2y4K0v-teFBEYaB02o1gCpJXFMjVvatI0LaqB-opMx78AAhq-AX4/s400/B015ROYFMC.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
Everyone always wondered how he would end this novel. Nobody thought of the answer 'pretentious woman goes topless with a rug on her head'. |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB-U7glZ8q84YVKHPEV0wNv-L9vrhbCfIigZN3sBWOztPrxr8_aHiGTTcrh2A2LMpgCodmt2LfLPMVd4_FIVa7XCRH94woPl1GCnGqNYzBR2fcb6cWCwsJt-1NUfVTNcy4FqkbC5qHHPU/s400/B016AN7E68.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
Cormac McCarthy's first draft of The Road was much less effective when every reference to "the father" was written as "Dombey". |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR-9UuwScms4gC4ZPXGJC12mhf9Tl9d4ZIhzu5_EAa_XLNvjmEg7AhXjqMBf0cJAPPwKBVNIcNu1qJ69p9OemT1YG9tdUjVIkXQvl85l1EOUdKf3wIDydUOciP-22NKGna1AgYYfXDdN0/s400/B016APTJ4Q.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
The big red A stands for Absolut |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwST0SqWBkDOe8jeLJrZ2IhukyLfIsKESNXSUwqM5WP5IMjglR5glXoqbaTkn5Z4I4XTKe-6T-bXbrfLlPS7QgsBLx8wZL6McQgGvbFXYR8hA0Ghf-cvAJgZUDfyv6NyLcVXmwwLyl-IY/s400/B016FMJW6O.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
How evolution led to cavemen inventing the toilet roll |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcik2viW2Qu-cvaJUQ7j5EGoW7k_LHIbLOk7XxsbT7g4tgZwGwJCf_LWGC6U2H4KxGHIzJhCUGed3G_k9jIBNcexld7b0YatXB3y5FBLeYG2U8tLBUnUHUXiR497sScfS4BCoqDCJwLK0/s400/B016J4YAQA.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
Bimbo and Bicycle |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq69u_M5D9hIHi3vt8Ct_7a29Q31w9wDvEPpB41mdFclfq25iauvdBu8VMtTMdl9k2n9VA6OOaqFlxNYSoxV5rkKNI9gD2GZas6OZ80Uq7KCmg8i5qK2hKNgAgFN6cA4ShwRZJQTh3OF0/s400/B016J5OG04.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
When Heathcliff dug up his Cathy's body, he was in for a surprise |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp7DDAQWAgA7oDxa1sWjNnC4nYYmLGjV0jbFCYV8yjPv44KSgwnIEB31iQVmlRsemj9kv967O5lIrc7ijePJ87665ulSt5teCh4XAKiUcnWY5uvQ3PoWj6jjO2OrmiIvgGvXqGhoSYNs4/s400/B017OAFL5M.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
The Black Arrow. The One-Cup Bra. The Bow Made of Lobsters. |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt_1gCaoNPpAbki5Rug1dfhkiYFpcuIYmYvNOnGH9zP8CZvTERq5XLPLOpMfHlEi-P6dWkn4AsIurGhWasp38v7KCAWpG-WDKDRJAQZdi9vwJkLxni1ti1PEtt603JT2ihhVdsVLr4qUM/s400/B0136YJ9NK.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
Long John Silver always found it annoying that people refused to believe the story of how he lost his leg. |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMaKMjuaWoRZZ-hdasxBPWW2sc-047zf_okv4j9Ik2BwZuwQVA4kO2LdB1H1b3gvm-Lv98CLd2l-tbFEn5GpzxgtdPyz89B_EIAYv03GRpsv6MihDzJ8BnL4aoRz3Q5vlKcRam8gg8qCo/s400/B0147F1ZMA.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
I just, I mean, what the fuck, I don't know |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTUKkUQ0qZhSL6optTsSlvEZIobU7QNVIajU_MjQvFwmxNWsPp6XMMe2LS9TuvqU9VDZ4VjeN3UVWpGo6TRmtTg7dP_v_zV5QLEVs-2fAzIDNTfL4tUxcQxB0ymsH4Q6uQxCePvkHv-Os/s400/B0151MS9OU.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
Anna was winner of series 3 of Real Housewives of St Petersburg |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuMsCbWhiTMPfvnFLcZyMl9pn0JIOFaz_2BU6YBmh2G1U2vLdx7ckOOL1uOX7AuKVBJwPVYDGuxCw29dyyICKAZ13yAMlNTFACRpGWZNEpjiV3BbIq1Hu-CwjuByJ3YuYYTeDMB-HhI5g/s400/B0165TJUUK.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
Nothing wrong here, this is a perfect reasonable cover |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTZeugBcs1I5hCN8hgk-Iat0H9kDy4KlpV3iYFNsKECh2LijfWADu3xjlbPVzWHNC-G8WhIOophBjNn8JI03prWwhLQ-xMOATLrUhk9yNuba-SzMmkBPeC9Yw4-ZHeL4sYx8rst7me_2A/s400/B0165YN83A.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
[Shoots self in head] |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu1CpNTB-GpKT5ys4D3G6bstB4h65gXZ9yoBBXYadCqUEpHPt2wxAc4cNPPytfAYKaexTfXVlZodZnYayjb_bjSBS2yo7ogh9xybl0XsAl74TJxW5EpTTsuBq-iLiQDltqvD-wPBPQc44/s400/B0172LOUNW.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
[Collapses bleeding on floor] |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgohRYUbUSN8uaDZSgradcH1vHDTh_E32LB4_RFRVYQpspq8KZqA4QuXL8IRc7qseAZvzfGMPEfB7-8NgoGExfQgI1f4apTO868uo2oSy87QjIZckYeFaeGZQXu4XMAXDKfkefH5jEk4Aw/s400/B01774Z8FS.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
[Bleeds out] |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPT7JXBKl5Hz6hTZZw6hsBqlp75m0LSTswrUR2XVrI3Np2M8Uuur2UUTM4lVOUzxFAhR87bKXk9xkwefL5Sh6gqSDicZGJP_m9mhBo1sAEcvQUB6uElY-Dhe1ALo6aMiBsbjLdW0zAf_E/s400/B017862L4Q.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg) |
[All is silence, and blessed peace at last] |