Sunday, 15 September 2013

50 Shades of Tired Puns and Cretinous Cash-Ins

About 18 months ago I looked at the woeful array of cretinous and usually self-published books hoping to cash in on the 50 Shades of Grey bandwagon of crap. To my horror, even as the original books are being turned away by charity shops, it's still happening! All of the following books are being released in the space of one month later this year, and they're only the worst-looking that I could find in a quick survey. Truly, we live in terrible times.

12 Across: Fuck Off (4, 3)

The courage to be kicked in the head by a wet horse

50 Random Nouns

Nothing says "erotic" like a bent, diseased prick

A rare example amongst these books of a pun that makes actual sense

This may have been the highlight of somebody's modelling career

Yes, this seems a sensible topic to shoe-horn a title based on witless erotica into

50 Shades of Not Knowing How the English Language Works

Terrifying, but not in the way they think 

Jozi is slang for "syphilitic discharge"

They go in as cucumbers, they come out as gherkins


amateur idler said...

Oh Lord. I don't want to live.

JRSM said...

I'm sure there'll be a book called '50 Shades of Euthanasia' before too long.

Tororo said...

Probably Jonathan Chamberlain, having been once told that the Bible was the most successful bestseller of all times, first considered calling the sequel of his first book « The Cancer Survivor’s Bible: Now The Secret code Unveiled! », then had an afterthought after reading the latest bestsellers list.

Anonymous said...

I'm in '50 shades of agony', I laughed so hard!

JRSM said...

Tororo, I suspect you're right. A few years ago he would have called it 'Harry Potter and the Chemotherapy of Azerbaijan'.

Anon, I thank you.

Craig D. said...

Just stay out of my way, 50 Shades of Grey, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say!

Or we could just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, or lay by the bay? We just may! Whatta ya say?

Marcus said...

Welcome to the death of the publishing industry