At the risk of turning this sporadically updated blog into nothing but a repository for the worst bowel movements of the public domain-scraping automated ebook industry, let's imagine the alternative history of literature suggested by the covers of the classics published by "HMDS Printing...
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| Alcott's classic tale of cloned urban feminist Leninists |
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| To be fair, you can almost see Fanny. |
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| The beloved novella of American Civil War Primal Scream training |
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| A portrait entitled 'Man in a Hat that Makes Him look Retarded' |
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| Prince Lyov Nikolaevich Myshkin vomited on his shirt and then sucked a lemon to take away the aftertaste. 'Who's an idiot now?" he asked, smugly. |
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| No, Vietnam is on the other side of paradise. |
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No trainer wheels? That IS adventurous!
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| Australia, Japan, it's all the same, who gives a fuck? |
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| Everyone always wondered how he would end this novel. Nobody thought of the answer 'pretentious woman goes topless with a rug on her head'. |
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| Cormac McCarthy's first draft of The Road was much less effective when every reference to "the father" was written as "Dombey". |
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| The big red A stands for Absolut |
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| How evolution led to cavemen inventing the toilet roll |
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| Bimbo and Bicycle |
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| When Heathcliff dug up his Cathy's body, he was in for a surprise |
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| The Black Arrow. The One-Cup Bra. The Bow Made of Lobsters. |
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| Long John Silver always found it annoying that people refused to believe the story of how he lost his leg. |
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| I just, I mean, what the fuck, I don't know |
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| Anna was winner of series 3 of Real Housewives of St Petersburg |
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| Nothing wrong here, this is a perfect reasonable cover |
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| [Shoots self in head] |
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| [Collapses bleeding on floor] |
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| [Bleeds out] |
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| [All is silence, and blessed peace at last] |
