Thursday 29 January 2009

When Self-Publishers Hire Friends Instead of Professional Cover Designers...

..these are the results:









As far as I know, one man is responsible for all of these. I shall not include his name or the titles of the books in the text here, as I fear him stumbling upon me. Also, from his site, he seems an awfully nice chap, and I feel bad about the sneering (though obviously not enough to not do it). And if that last cover isn't making use of a photo of Indiana Jones then I'll eat that hat.


UPDATE: Readers, I ate that hat. Sharp-eyed commenter Kim Senior points out that the cover in question actually knocks off this Humphrey Bogart image. The trenchcoat should have tipped me off.

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14 comments:

  1. Kim29 January 2009 at 19:20

    Eat your hat, its a takeoff Bogey

    http://www.art.com/asp/sp-asp/_/pd--10022097/Humphrey_Bogart.htm

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  2. JRSM29 January 2009 at 20:39

    Damn it, you're right! (Muffled noise of man eating hat.)

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  3. Hels29 January 2009 at 21:15

    I cannot believe I found another blogger who wrote about Yosl Bergner *weepy hugs*. I put a link from your post into my blog!

    Do you know the publication details of the first Bergner cover - just the date and place would do.
    many thanks
    Hels,
    Melbourne

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  4. JRSM29 January 2009 at 21:29

    Hi, Hels: it was published by Penguin in 1961 (London): it's Penguin Modern Classics # 1572.

    Thanks for the link! I'll be round at your blog shortly.

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  5. Anonymous30 January 2009 at 02:17

    I love it when self-publishers and self-cover-designers run out of inspiration and take off existing images. How about this, clearly 'inspired' by this. Like you I will not name the author as he's a prickly chap who threatened to get another website taken down when we mocked him on it. Plus, I feel sorry for him. However, if you want a laugh, just look at the Amazon reviews of his other books.

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  6. JRSM30 January 2009 at 03:46

    Oh dear: those Amazon reviews (not written by him) are great! I love: "This is supposed to be for young adults, like me. Well, a few pointers then: 1) get an editor 2) that squiggly red line under the words? It means there’s a typo, go back and correct them 3) that squiggly green line under the words? It means there’s a grammar suggestion. Your PC screen must glow like the Emerald City 4) I don’t need profanities and drug references to be entertained, Mr Wright. There’s relatively few in Jane Eyre, do try and remember that."

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  7. Steerforth30 January 2009 at 13:21

    I liked 'This deserves minus four stars as a warning to future generations'.

    This is all horribly familiar.

    Self-publishing of this kind is bad for the soul. Towards the end of my days in bookselling, I was becoming increasingly like Basil Fawlty when presented with novels of this kind.

    It was the result of years of trying to be tactful and diplomatic with people whose vanity and self-delusion had left them with as much charm and humility as talent.

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  8. Ian Koviak30 January 2009 at 14:27

    ouch. This is a big bummer.

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  9. JRSM30 January 2009 at 15:21

    Just last night came across this depressing article on self-publishing: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/28/books/28selfpub.html?_r=1&ref=books - I know I got it from someone's blog, but I forget which: apologies for that. I like the way the guy in charge of Lulu.com cheerfully admits, "We have easily published the largest collection of bad poetry in the history of mankind."

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  10. Lucy Fishwife31 January 2009 at 02:37

    I just read all his reviews and loved every one of them, particularly the 5-star self-wriiten ones... In that very vein I will just give you a quote from an unsolicited novel we had sent to us (I use the word "novel" because it's certainly like nothing I've ever seen before). All errors of spelling and punctuation are, it goes without saying, author's own...

    "London in the 1980's drugs and prostitution are rife and to survive you have to be one hard hearted bastard with eye's in the back of your head. That's Linda Gerraty and Paulie Santini to a tee: but Linda has one weakness her Son Luke."

    ... oh, and her husband did the book jacket...

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  11. JRSM31 January 2009 at 15:14

    That's certainly a, er, unique-sounding book. You are, I'm certain, displaying it face-out and in the front windows, right?

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  12. Picky3 March 2009 at 16:43

    OK, I just stumbled upon your blog. I have actually been sitting here for hours, trying figure out how to go about getting commissions for cover design. I am relatively new to design. I do however think I am ready to start to offer my services for Ah-Hem Cheap! :) I just have NO clue who to contact. So I am making a leap here and asking you. If you would be so kind as to point me in the right direction, I would be so happy. Where do I start? Here is my online gallery www.pickyme.deviantart.com if you would like to give me your opinion. Thank you!

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  13. JRSM3 March 2009 at 16:55

    To be honest, Picky, I'm not sure where you'd go from here, other than to do what sort of what you've been doing with "fake" book covers--except that I'd design "new" covers for some existing books from a specific publisher, and then submit them on spec. I suspect it's a pretty hard industry to get into, though. Sorry I can't be more help!

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  14. Picky3 March 2009 at 17:08

    Thank you! Yes, that is what I am thinking as well.. sort of like.. here is what you did, here is what I could have done better, type thing? It just seems overwhelming to me at this point. Well, hopefully you saw a little potential in my gallery. Hopefully one day one of my covers won't end up in your blog being ripped apart! LOL..

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